Rest in Peace, Nana Jo

To my dearest Kristina,

When daddy and I first found out about you and decided to travel to Russia to meet you, I called Grammy and Poppy to tell them the news.  I knew they would be ecstatic.  When I called them the morning of July 24, 2008, I could hear several voices.  (You know, Grammy and Poppy always have the phone on "speaker" so there's no secret conversations.)  Anyways...guess who was there to rejoice and laugh with excitement?  Yes, Nana Jo!

I want to make sure you remember Nana Jo, Auntie Erin's mommy. Her gentle touch, her giving nature, her soft-spoken voice.  She was so excited to have you join our family!

When I got the sad news this afternoon upon returning home and we sat there in the car, you hugged me and wiped my tears.  You asked if they were "happy tears or sad tears" but you could tell.  Your instincts, my dear, are wiser beyond your years.

I know we haven't been able to see Nana Jo often since she lives in Florida but now she will live forever in our hearts and wonderful memories. She's only a whisper away and Heaven is definitely a sweeter place tonight.

God bless, Nana Jo.  We love her so much and miss her incredibly.

All my love,
Mommy

Kristina and Nana Jo, May 2010

Adopting, again!

I'm sure the title of this post has just momentarily taken the breath away from our close family and friends!  And it's true -- just not exactly what you're thinking.

I've put this off long enough and been meaning to do it for months -- ok, years -- but I've finally completed the paperwork necessary to readopt Kristina here in California.  For those of you who have burning questions about readoption (and Kristina, my dear -- you might want to know all of this later on, too), I'll try to explain it here in layman's terms.  Otherwise, known as "Readoption 101".  (Information obtained from an article by Peter Wiernicki, JD in www.AdoptiveFamilies.com )

What is Readoption?
Basically, readoption is the legal process of adopting a child again here in the United States after the child has been lawfully adopted in another country.

What are the Pre-requisites?
1) The child must be lawfully adopted under the laws of the foreign country where the adoption was pursued. DONE!
2) The adoptive parents must satisfy U.S. immigration requirements so that the child may lawfully enter the United States.  DONE!!

Do You Have to Readopt?
Nope, but it makes life easier down the road.  More coming up on this...

So then the million dollar question:  Why Readopt?
1)  First and foremost, readoption prudently secures the recognition of a legal parent/child relationship under U.S. law, thus eliminating reliance on the ongoing validity of the adoption laws of the foreign country.  (What for?  Well, there was a case where a bio child was trying to block inheritance from his sibling who had been adopted internationally, but not readopted.  Readoption assures inheritance rights.)
2)  The main reason we are moving forward with the readoption is to make sure we will be able to obtain a state birth certificate for Kristina when we need it (i.e. starting Kindergarten, etc.).  Can you imagine if we had to obtain an original certified copy of her birth certificate from Ekaterinburg?  This would be next to impossible. We were provided with one certified copy of her birth certificate in Russian and one original translation of it.  And neither one of those are going anywhere!

For some states, you simply have to register the foreign birth decree to obtain a birth certificate from the office of vital records in that state of residence.  In California, the readoption procedure, much like a domestic adoption petition, will result in the creation of a state issued birth certificate.  We (meaning Jon, Kristina and I) will all stand before a judge to declare our intentions.  But this time, no translator gauging the temperment of the judge in addition to interpreting every word we say, no prosecuters challenging our intentions, no social workers going to bat for us, and no post-placement reports!  In fact, most judges welcome family and friends to attend the court session and take pictures afterwards.  Yes, Toto - we're not in Russia anymore!

The Result?
We'll have a California birth certificate listing Kristina's full name, us as the parents and her birthplace as Ekaterinburg, Russia.

So in a way, I really look forward to this readoption.  It starts to bring closure to our entire "adoption" process leaving us with only one more post-placement report due April 2012.  Of course, since Russia keeps tabs on the whereabouts of their citizens and Kristina holds dual citizenship, we still need to alert the Russian Consulate each time Kristina moves and changes address -- up until she is 18.

NOTE:  If you see a repeat of the words "Adopting, again" ever in the title of this blog, then chances are we have hit the Lotto and are fulfilling Kristina's request for a brother or sister.  Until then, she is the center of our universe and we'd adopt her over and over again if they'd let us!

Now for some random photos since I can't leave a post picture-less.  :)

Kristina's so proud to do her very own pig tails...

...and what you can't see doesn't count, right?

After packing her bag with t-shirts, jeans, panties, stuffed animals, shoes and socks, Kristina announced that she's off to go see Jimmy and Andrew (cousins who live in FL).
Little does she know...we're going there in 2 weeks!

Our angel at church...with Barbie in her evening gown, of course!

Doesn't everyone mop the floor in princess heels?

On the way to school with keys in hand...

...after trying to pack her lunchbox with M & Ms and Reese's!  Good thing I checked...



Kristina fell asleep on the kitchen floor the other night.  Life is rough.

Make-up mayhem.

Guess who learned how to whistle today?!!
Wouldn't the inside of an Oreo make you whistle, too?  :)
NOTE:  Tried to endlessly upload the video but to no avail...[sigh]

GOTCHA Day -- 2 Years Later!

A part of me feels like Kristina has always been with us.  Yet I am floored that May 13th represents two years since our little girl held our hands as we walked out of the orphanage's doors and into the courtyard, passed the play area as we chimed "1-2-3" and whisked her up into the air.  I remember like it was yesterday -- vividly.  I often wonder what she was thinking.  All the "Paka-Paka"s (bye-bye's) were not like the previous 4 weeks -- this time, the good-byes were to the children, caregivers, director and orphanage doctor.

The moment we walked in to pick up Kristina, most kids were playing outside except for a few.  The caregiver here is explaining to them that Kristina's mama and papa are here to take her home.  Kristina is the blondie hidden behind the girl in pink and her locker was the end one next to the red vase with flowers.
Til this day, this photo still makes me cry ~ mixed tears.

The Orphanage Doctor (Maria) on the left and Kristina's favorite caregiver (we wish we knew her name) saying their good-byes before we change her into her going-away clothes.

Outside the large, heavy metal doors to Orphanage #6, Department #2.

"Один, два, три (ras, duvah, tdree) -- weeeeeeee!!" as we walked away for the last time...

The one thing that really gave us comfort on that day was that Kristina just went with the flow...not even looking back at her "home", shedding no tears (until a few hours later when she was hungry).  To us, we felt that the bond we established by seeing Kristina almost every day for 4 weeks made this transition practically seamless.  Are we lucky?  Yes - not everyone gets this opportunity to stay in Region for so long.  And blessed?  Oh, yes...Kristina is our blessing beyond what we could have ever hoped for.  What I do know is that the last two years have shown us that parenting is indeed one of the hardest jobs.  What I didn't know what just how much incredible joy a child can bring into one's life.

This year, I didn't have the time nor energy to whip up a pot of Borscht Soup for dinner.  So instead, we celebrated GOTCHA Day dinner by going to one of Kristina's favorite places (and one we rarely go to): McDonald's Playland.  After a few bites of a burger (no bread) and 2 apple slices, Kristina abandoned us to climb the tubes and slide down the slides.  We sat there smiling as she quickly made friends with other kids and listening to her laugh as it echoed throughout the playland.

We returned home for dessert:  a chocolate-iced cupcake (her favorite) and Russian Tea Cakes (made with raspberry jelly, raisins, and topped with sugar).  Don't think about asking for the Russian Tea Cake recipe...Betty Crocker took the night off and purchased the dessert from a local bakery!   

It took every ounce of patience for Kristina not to scoop up that cupcake and take a bite!

Our GOTCHA Day, 2011, family photo.

Kristina opened up her gifts:  Sock Monkey Nesting Dolls and a "Koshka" (cat) matryoshka doll.  Wouldn't you know that when Kristina and I stopped at Costco on GOTCHA Day, there was a Russian Vendor who had just set up his table for a 10-day exhibit.  For a split second, I felt like I was in Ekaterinburg perusing through the street vendors' tables looking at amber jewelry, lacquer boxes, matryoshka dolls, birch tree boxes, etc.  Kristina took a liking to the Koshka doll and who am I to say no, especially today?

I guess you can call this the American version of the Matryoshka Doll!

It doesn't take too much to get smiles out of our little girl!

A few days later on May 16th, our 2-year anniversary of coming home to CA, we spent the day just hanging out together until I had to have oral surgery (no fun!).  After the procedure, Kristina was my little caregiver.  Nothing like cuddling with our angel and a marathon of Tinkerbelle and Little Mermaid to make one feel better!

The Deary Family ~ two years together
May 16, 2011



Mother's Day 2011

For years I dreamed of celebrating this holiday as a mom.  I didn't really envision myself spending the day folding little clothes, washing sippy cups, cleaning a bathroom because a little girl washed all her fairy dolls in the sink spilling water all over the floor, picking up hairbands in every nook and cranny, shaking "sandbox" out of every shoe worn to school, scrubbing sharpy pen off the kitchen table, and picking up Princess Puzzle pieces from underneath the coffee table.

But looking at her brings so much joy and I wouldn't change a thing.  Back in 2009, we were in Russia spending Mother's Day as a family but were 3 days away from GOTCHA Day.  We've come a long way!

Mother's Day 2009 in Ekaterinburg

Playing outside at Baby Home #6

Mama and her little girl...almost officially a mama!

Mother's Day 2011



Applying lip gloss



Some mommy/daughter time

My baby is growing up!

Now back to folding laundry, putting away hidden crayons and markers, picking up scrap pieces of paper our angel likes to cut up, scrape stickers off of the TV, fridge, table, etc.  No breaks...even on Mother's Day...and that's fine with me!

Happy Mother's Day to all!