While Kristina played on the swing for a few minutes, Marc explained to me that he had to put Simba (his dog) to sleep earlier this week. My heart sank. Simba was a stray about 14 years ago who found refuge in Marc's and our backyard after our common fence had been blown down from a storm. Marc adopted Simba after an effort to find her original family turned up nothing. We loved Simba like our own dog (just a lot less work...).
A moment later, Kristina said "I want to see Simba. I want to touch Simba." Simba was the first dog that Kristina took to ~ she was afraid of all others, although she'd admire dogs from afar. I was initially speechless. I wasn't prepared to answer to such a request! I stumbled over my words and said "We can't, honey. Simba is in doggy heaven." She looked perplexed, which is what I would expect from a 3 y.o. Then I felt the lump in my throat grow bigger and my eyes tearing up. "I want to touch Simba," Kristina requested again. "We can't, honey" as I then attempted to divert her attention.
I don't want to tell her that Simba has gone to sleep and won't be waking up again for fear she'll take this literally (believe me, bedtime around here is still difficult enough!). I'll take any suggestions out there as I have a feeling the next time we're outside, Kristina will be looking for Simba. I'm just so happy we made the time for Kristina to see Simba about 10 days ago when she made the same request... You just never know.
 |
| Back in May, 2010, Kristina pet Simba, then hugged her and wouldn't let go. This was the first time! |
 |
| Rest in peace, dear Simba-girl. |
13 comments:
Oh, I am so sorry. That is a tough one. I would check out the library and see what children's books they have dealing with loss. My personal favorite is Tear Soup by Pat Schweibert, but I think it is a little too old for Kristina. I've given it to children who've lost a parent (unfortunately, I've known more than one!) but it is a great book for adults too.
(Good job not using the sleep analogy too!)
gina
Oh ... my heart breaks for you, Kristina and Marc ... I'm tearing as I write this to you!!!
I don't have any real advice .. we had to put our beloved Tyson to sleep a year ago but all our nieces and nephews were older so it was easier to explain ... it's so hard because you don't want them to be afraid to go to sleep or get sick!!! I think doggy heaven is good ... also google "rainbow bridge" ... it talks about where dogs go when they leave us ... to romp and play and wait for us!!!
Good Luck ... Simba was BEAUTIFUL and I can tell she is going to be missed!
Christine
Yuck! Not a fun thing to try to explain. It was so hard when I lost my grandmother (Mamie)and to try to explain it to Colby was tough. Not sure he understands it yet. But we have photos of all my grandparents (all gone) and he'll point and say who it is and that they're in Heaven. Now he wants to know WHY and where Heaven is. Yikes. Great pics of her with the dog. So cute.
Melissa
Anna still talks about Dottie and it has been a year. I keep a picture out and we just talk about how we loved her.
Joy
Awww... That is so sad... :(
It is always tough to lose a pet. I'm sorry for your and your neighbor's loss. I don't have advice for how to explain it to Kristina - just good thougts to share.
I don't have any advice either - but wanted to say she was a GORGEOUS dog. Those pictures are just priceless. It is the saddest thing in the world. I couldn't take watching Marley and Me, had to leave early. Too sad... and it was only a movie! :)
Victoria
Did he bury the dog or leave him at the vet? Wonder if he burried Simba if you could take Kristina to the grave site? Not sure if that is appropriate for a 3 year old though.
This is a really hard one ! I was crying just looking at the photo.
I know its so hard but I always believed to teach them about heaven and where we go when its our time to be with God.
This was Simba's time.
I don't know if that is something you might tell her, but I have faith that you will know what to do. You are a great mom to Christina !
Thank you for all your advice and help through my ordeals.
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
With children they say to keep it simple and say as much as they want to hear. As adults, we have a hard time comprehending death. My heart goes out to Simba owner and your family. I'm sorry...
Oh so sad -- the first real loss in kristina's life -- and how as a parent to help your child experience and appreciate the loss of a very important soul in their world... i have no idea, but do like the idea of having that photo of she and simba together in your house...
i actually just googled and there are some great sites with ideas..
http://www.ehow.com/how_2302551_talk-kids-death-pet.html
http://www.familycorner.com/parenting/ages/death-of-pet.shtml
in my thoughts as you tackle this very hard and sad parenting task...
hugs to you, john, kristina, & marc...
What a cute little lioness she was. Rest in peace. She did a wonderful thing -- teaching Kristina the love for animals. About the explanation, I prefer being honest and explaining my children that the body somehow simply stops working at a certain time, but that usually happens when the person / animal has had a very long life. I hope you can comfort her -- but I think she will be the one comforting you. Take care!
This is so hard for a parent to explain. Just keep it simple and matter-of-fact. Lexi takes everything very literal too so there is no way I could tell her an animal was put to "sleep". I recently messed up and accidently killed a box turtle that we found in our pool and were nursing back to health. As soon as Lexi's eyes opened every morning, she would ask to see her turtle. Telling her he died was one of the hardest things ever. But she took it sooo much better than I expected. No tears or real sadness, but she did tell everyone she met for a about a week that her turtle was dead. (Boy did I feel terrible.)
Simba was a beautiful dog and she helped Kristina develop a love for animals that she will have forever. I'm sure she is in heaven with Lexi's Tuck the Turtle!
Post a Comment